The American Cancer Society has stated that:

Although there is no scientific evidence that laughter can cure cancer or any other disease, it can reduce stress, promote health, and enhance the quality of life. Humor has physiological effects that can stimulate the circulatory system, immune system, and other systems in the body.

There is no scientific evidence that humor is effective in treating cancer or any other disease, however, laughter has many clinical benefits that include positive physiological changes and an overall sense of well being. One study found the use of humor lead to an increase in pain tolerance. It is thought laughter stimulates the release of special neurotransmitter substances in the Skin (endorphins) that help control pain. Another study demonstrated neuroendocrine and stress-related hormones decreased during episodes of laughter, which provides support for the claim that humor can relieve stress. More studies are needed to clarify the impact of laughter on health.

It is in this spirit that we offer the following jokes. We hope you can find humor and laughter here and not find offense. I believe that finding humor in an impossibly overwhelming situation is a healthy way of coping. Please take these jokes with this in mind.

Oh yeah, if you have a great joke that is cancer related, please share it with us and we may post it. You can send it to jokes@be-cancer-smart.com.

Cancer Jokes

A religious man discovers that he has testicular cancer, and decides to pray for a miracle. The next day he visits a urologist, who tells him he must have surgery immediately. He tells the doctor "I do not want you to remove my testicle, I am praying for a miracle from God". Then he visits a radiologist, who tells him that he must begin radiation therapy immediately. He tells the doctor "I do not want you to expose my body to radiation, I am putting my faith in God." Finally he visits an oncologist, who tells him that he must start chemotherapy immediately. He tells the doctor "I do not want you to inject me with caustic chemicals, God will heal me." A few months later he dies and goes to heaven, where he is very upset and asks God why he didn't give him a miracle. God replies "I gave you three miracles, a urologist, an oncologist and a radiologist, but you chose to ignore them."

Cancer cures smoking, eventually.

A favorite practical joke of radiation therapy patients is to toss a green glow stick under the covers after the first day of radiation therapy. It is best if the spouse discovers the glow on their own, but you can help them along by lifting up the covers slightly.

A favorite practical joke of radiation therapy patients is to toss a green glow stick under the covers after the first day of radiation therapy. It is best if the spouse discovers the glow on their own, but you can help them along by lifting up the covers slightly.

Doctor: I've got your test results and I have some bad news. You have cancer and Alzheimer's.

Patient: Boy, am I lucky! I was afraid I had cancer!

Never tell a joke to your oncologist just before they start the operation. It is very hard for him to cut straight when he's laughing.

Doctor to patient: I'm sorry to have to tell you, but you have a very rare cancer for which there are no treatments and I'm afraid that you only have six months to live.

Patient: What do you suggest I do?

Doctor: Move to Iowa and live with an economist.

Patient: And how will that make me live longer?

Doctor: It won't. Six months will just seem longer.

When my dad woke up from his colon cancer surgery, he said, “Now I am a semi-colon!”

What would you get if you crossed an x-ray technician and a seamstress?

Hospital gowns.

When I told a friend that I have cancer, he replied, "I thought you were an Aries?"

Top 11 Ways to Know You are A Cancer Survivor

by Emily Hollenberg, 4-year breast cancer survivor

http://www.cancer.med.umich.edu/share/humorten.htm

11. Your alarm clock goes off at 6 a.m. and you're glad to hear it.

10. April 15th is still a great day.

9. Your mother-in-law invites you to lunch and you just say NO.

8. You're back in the family rotation to take out the garbage.

7. When you no longer have an urge to choke the person who says, "all you need to beat cancer is the right attitude."

6. When your dental floss runs out and you buy 1000 yards.

5. When you use your toothbrush to brush your teeth and not comb your hair.

4. You have a chance to buy additional life insurance but you buy a convertible instead.

3. Your doctor tells you to lose weight and do something about your cholesterol and you actually listen.

2. When your biggest annual celebration is again your birthday, not the day you were diagnosed.

1. When you use your Visa card more than your insurance card.

Emoticons for Thyroidectomy Patients

From: http://www.thyroidcancersongs.com/humor.htm

:-)=) A smiley face with a thyroidectomy scar at the base of the throat

:-(=) A frowny face with a thyroidectomy scar at the base of the throat

:-)=}) A smiley face with a double chin and a thyroidectomy scar at the base of the throat

:-(=] A frowny face with a really bad thyroidectomy scar at the base of the throat

:-)=)) A smiley face with TWO thyroidectomy scars at the base of the throat

Cancer Joke Sites

• http://www.kantrowitz.com/cancer/jokes.html
• Oncolink
• The Humor Effect
• Thyroid Cancer Songs
• Humorosis
• Int'l Synonyms For Vomit List
• Cancer Top Ten
• Oncology Jokes
• LearningPlaceOnline.com
• My First Cancer Joke
• Furry Monkey Cancer Jokes
• No More Comic - Cancer Jokes

« Cancer Treatment Hospitals | Main | Cancer Treatments »